I feel sad again, another good friend of mine is leaving this town next month and I don't know what to do about it. This makes 5 really good friends have moved in the past 2 years and I just feel alone. Thankgoodness, I saw one of them this past Saturday and another 1 back in May. That helped a lot. I don't make friends very easily, it has been this way forever. It doesn't matter how old you are, everyone needs friends. I know I haven't been a great friend to some people and I feel bad about that. I just have a hard time opening up to people, I am afraid to getting hurt again. I guess I am also afraid of how people think of me and well I shouldn't worry about this, but I do, for people have talked about me behind my back and so I always think everyone does this. I know it has been years, since I was a teenager and I already talked about this in my last blog entry, so I won't go into that. I want to tell my friends, who live near and far, I Love You. Even though we might not talk often, you are all the best.
The other thing, is I wish I was moving too because I feel trapped here. Let me explain. Yes, this is a great place to live, but a hard place to make a living. I really feel blessed, but I wish we lived closer to more family and better medical facilities. Maybe someday we can do this, but who knows when that will be. For now, my kids are very happy here, we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and my husband has a job, so that is all that matters.
4 comments:
I know how you feel. I have dealt with the same types of problems. You know that. I wish you didn't live five hours away or that I could drive. We love you.
Hi Melinda, it's good to hear from you (via blog comment) :) Hope you and your family are all doing well too :)
Hey, I just sat and enjoyed some fun pics from your many different blog posts and reading a bit to catch myself up with your going-on's. You have a lovely family. Hey, also, I felt sad to read about how you've had a hard growing up with people talking bad about you. Those things should never happen. Unfortuately they do...and too aften also. Sorry you have had to go through that. You are a great person. It is hard to have positive self esteem when others are cruel. But, still there is really only way to not worry about what anyone else thinks, and that is to draw very very close to the savior. I do it by daily reading in the scriptures. I enjoy ensign talks. And, I also tune in to the daily 11:00am BYU devotionals (they are wonderful!!). I have a passion for the gospel and it truly does replace any negative thing in our lives. I helps us to not feel lonely either. As we draw closer to the savior, his atonement works magic in us and we develop a strong positive self esteem. Soon, it only matters to us what the savior and our heavenly father think about us. Also, we will find joy in so many things that we don't feel bad about our self or about wishing our life was a certain way. I don't know if any of this helps. But, it's just what I know from my own personal experiencs from what the spirit does in my life :) I wasn't made fun of, but my little brother was his whole life and he still deals with people talking bad about him in cruel ways. It always has broken my heart for him. So, I am sorry to hear that you have experienced this in your own life. Enjoy all the little things with your hubby and your boys and things will get better soon for you :) My hubby is my very best friend. I havn't needed too many other close friends (so i probably am not a very good friend to others...since I havn't been looking for that). But, I do constantly work on making my hubby my best friend and drawing so close to him that I can share all of myself with him. It has been awesome as our relationship has grown closer through the years, we know can talk openly, and often, about our personal spiritual thoughts, our personal life worries, just anything. But, I do realize that having girl friends is so important too :) Well, I've taken up way too much room in this comment, sorry!!! Hope things get better soon for ya :)
I know how you feel, I've just finished uni and so many friends are dispersing all around the country. I'm hopeful that I will make new friends but right now I need to find a job and I'm feeling quite alone. I know I will keep in touch with those that really matter to me but it isn't the same :(
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