I need to Try

I know this song has been out for awhile, but for the last few weeks I have heard this song on the radio and it made me cry every time that I heard it and at the end of the song I never knew who sang it until today.  Cobie Caillat sings it, so I got home from work and got on YouTube and watched her video.  It was such a great video, with pictures of her and other people with no makeup on and just being yourself.  I wish I had the guts to go out of the house with no makeup on and just be happy with me, but I can't leave the house with out makeup on and most of the time I haven't been happy with being me lately and I wish I was happy to be Malinda Gold Sizemore.  My husband thinks I am the most wonderful woman in the world and that I am a great mom and wife and he loves me no matter what.  I know there is other people that feel that way about me to, so why don't I like myself all that much. Why do I keep putting myself down?  Why don't I like to look at myself in the mirror?  Why do I get upset over making the littlest mistake?  Why do I keep comparing myself to everyone else?  Why do I think everything is my fault?    Why am I so scared to call a counselor and ask for help? 

These are questions I keep asking myself over and over again and maybe I can answer some of those questions right here on my blog.  The why do I keep comparing myself to others, well I have always done this to myself ever since I was a teenager and I know I need to stop and I have to remember that everyone has talents even me.  It has been been hard for me to know what talents I have, but I can say that I am very well organized and I keep a Journal.  The why don't I like to look at myself in the mirror, well I wore glasses from the age of 4-16 and that was the first thing a lot of kids saw and they never wanted to really get to know me, some of them just made fun of me, but thank goodness I did have some friends that really cared about me.  Even though I haven't been in school for so long, it still hurts and I don't really like to look at myself in the mirror still and I am now 42 years old.  I think the reason that I am scared  to call a counselor is, I am supposed to be the strong one but it is okay if I am not.  I have to keep telling myself that.  I know that doesn't answer all of the questions, but its a start.  Well, here is the video of  "Try" by Cobie Caillat.  Please watch it.   I think I do need to Try to be nicer to myself and just love me, but that might take some more time.  I also need to stop worrying about what others think of me, it is not good for me, but sometimes I want everyone to like me, but I know that will never happen.  I just wish I knew the why people don't like me, but I guess I really need to get over that, but it is hard when I also worry about that.  So I want to thank everyone who loves me amd I also want to thank everyone who takes the time to read my blog, it means a lot to me.