What's Up?

I know it has been about 3 weeks, since I have had an entry and I figured I better tell you what has been going on in the Sizemore household. Not much to report, just it seems like the same old stuff and I already know that I am a boring person, but I will let you know what is going on.

My husband Will is busy working and in his spare time he reads and goes running. He also is taking a programming class at SUU and that will end at the beginning of May. Ethan is loving the 6th grade and he reminded me today that there is 2 months left of school, when did that happen. I am not ready for that. He tried out for Little League Baseball for the very first time on Tuesday. I got a call that night and he didn't make the majors, I guess you need 1 year of baseball experience before you can get into the majors. So they asked him to try out for the Triple A, which is the one right before the majors and that way Ethan will have more fun with baseball. So he tried out for the Triple A yesterday and he did a lot better, but he is the oldest one who tried out for the Triple A. Most of the boys are ages 8-11, but he is okay with that, so I will be getting a call from his coach soon, cause he will be on a team no matter what. Games start April 25, so practices should start soon. Zach loves riding the bus and he loves the first grade. Since, he rides the speical needs bus to and from school, the bus stops right in front of the house and I really love that and so does Zach. He has 2 aides at school that help him and Zach also has a log book, that the aides write in everyday and its great to read what they put of how Zach does at school that day and to know what Zach is learning and what he eats for lunch everyday. He is not a big eater at all and he didn't even want breakfast this morning, so I hope he eats well for lunch today. Connor is loving preschool and he goes Mon-Thurs. and he also loves to ride the bus, but I have to drag him to get on the bus, cause he is watching 1 of his favorite shows when the bus comes, "Super Why". He also loves to watch "Curious George" and the show "The Science Kid", I think that is what the name is. He also is talking more and it is so great to hear him talk, especially in sentences. He also loves to mess up Ethan's room and we keep telling him to stop, but he keeps on doing it. This past Friday, I was out with Ethan to get him new shoes and to get a bunch of things from Walmart and then to get Pizza for Dinner. Came home, Ethan's room was so a mess, that I yelled and cried, I was so upset, but of course Ethan was more upset. Will and I helped Ethan clean up his room. Sometimes I don't know what to do with Connor. I love him, but man he drives me crazy sometimes. He also loves to watch "Pokemon", that is his movie right now that he watches over and over again.

As for me, I am doing alittle better, but not 100% yet. If you read my last post, you will understand. I am seeing a counselor about all of this and it is helping, I just wish that I was seeing him more often, then every 2 weeks, so my next time to see him is next week. It is nice to talk to someone, that could help me, but man I have so many feeling that I have bottled up inside of me, since I was a teenager and so this is going to take awhile, so most likely I will be seeing my counselor for several months, but who knows. I know it is not good to bottle up feelings, but for me it has always been hard to open up to people, cause I just didn't know who I could talk to about all of this and who would understand and not judge me. People have judged me my whole life and people still do it, probably without knowing they are doing it, but hey I am used to it. Other that all of this, I am hanging in there, trying to be a good wife and mom, but sometimes I wonder about all of that. That is all what has been going on right now, I know I have a boring life. I hope everyone is doing well. Have a Wonderful Day. :)

Struggles

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile, but hey its not like many people read my blog anyway. I haven't been feeling very good about myself lately and so its been hard to live everyday sometimes, but I love my husband, kids, family and friends and so I live for them, cause I guess people do need me around, even though I don't thing I am that important. I have probably felt like this for years, because growing up I wore glasses from the ages of 4-16 and let me tell you people can be so mean sometimes and to this day it still hurts and it happened years ago. It is hard to talk about it sometimes and so most people don't know everything that I went through. I wish I stood up for myself, so maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way and that I would like myself more, which I don't right now. I just wish that I could let go of my past and forgive people who did make fun of me, but hey that would be a long list. Then if I could let go of all of this, then maybe I could move on with my life, which right now I just feel like I am a boring person and no one really wants to get to know me and be friends with me. I know I have friends, but sometimes I just struggle to make friends and to keep them. I guess I want everyone to like me and I know that won't always happen. I have had some people that I have known in my life, that didn't like me for no reason at all, well they would see my glasses and just run away.



I also have been feeling very overwhelmed lately about eveything going on in my life right now besides what I just wrote. I love my kids, I just wish that they didn't have to go through the things they have to go through now. Like Ethan and his diabetes, Zach with his Muscular Dystrophy and Mild Autism and then there is Connor, with his speech delay, but he is starting to talk more, which I am happy about. Then there is my husband, who I love with all my heart and I am grateful to have him in my life right now, cause with out him, who knows where I would be right now. I wish he had a job that he enjoyed more and well a job that he would get paid more too. But I am very grateful that he still has a job. I just feel bad that he is at this job still and well I kind of feel like its my fault, well I feel like most things going on in my life right now are my fault. I also tend to compare myself to others, which isn't really good to do at all and I have done that pretty much my whole life and I try not to do that, but people have done that to me, so I do it to myself.


I did go to my Stake Womens Conference on Saturday and that did uplift some and I am glad I went. I also went to a movie with one of my friends on Saturday night and that was a fun evening and I needed that. Then yesterday at church I was depressed and it was just hard being there, but I should be there for me. Sometimes I feel like no one wants me there and if I just left nobody would miss me and I did want to leave church early yesterday, but I stayed for all of the meetings. I have a hard time when babies are blessed and a baby girl was blessed yesterday and I usually leave the room when a baby girl is blessed, but Will said I should just stay and I did, but It was hard for me to do that, but I did it anyway. All wards are pretty much full of babies and I want a baby. My youngest is now 4, but with my back problems, and my kids health problems I shouldn't get pregnant again and I am very sad about that, cause I want a baby. So some of you know this, I have always wanted to adopt and I believe that is where I am suppose to get my daughter, but financially we probably will never be able to afford a baby, so who knows when or if we will ever be able to adopt a daughter. Then instead of having 5 people in the family, will be have 6 and that sounds like a good number.


If I might have offended anyone, I am sorry, I didn't mean to. These are just my struggles that I am dealing with and they might not be big to everyone, but they are big to me. I also want to thank the people that read and comment on my blog, I so appreciate it, it makes my day. :)

Double Date

On Friday the 13th, Will and I went on a double date with John and Sarah Pace, who is in our ward. This is the first double date that I have ever been on and it was fun and we are planning on doing it again someday. Anyway, Sarah picked us up and we had dinner at The Pizza Factory. John met us there, because he was working in St. George that day. We had a very nice dinner and then we went to see SUU face BYU in Gymnastics. I love gymnastics and so all 4 of us had a wonderful time. It was great to get to know the Paces's alittle better. After SUU beat BYU, we went to Dennys to have some desseret and my cheesecake was deolious. Then Sarah took us home. It was a fun evening and the next time we do a double date, we are thinking of going to the St. George temple.

25 Random Things About Me

I have done this before, but it was on facebook and some of you aren't on facebook, but I was tagged by my friend Tammi and I thought it would be fun to do this on my blog.

Once you have been tagged, you are suppose to write 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged. If I tagged you, its because I want to know more about you.

1. I love anything with strawberries.
2. I have been bungie jumping twice(15 years ago)
3. I spend to much time on the computer, but hey I have a boring life.
4. I hate olives and pickles.
5. I have never been to a rock concert before.
6. I have had stiches in one of my fingers.
7. I have lived in 5 states and 10 houses, before I was 16 years old.
8. I have always wanted to go to Vermont, Sweden and Italy. Maybe someday.
9. I didn't get my drivers license, until I was 18.
10. My favorite movie of all time is Girls Just Want To Have Fun.
11. I love to drive.
12. I have 3 wonderful boys.
13. I never thought I would ever get married and here I am married to the best husband in the world of over 14 years.
14.I never graduated from college, maybe someday.
15. I have always wanted to adopt and so I hope to adopt a little girl someday.
16. I love to take pictures.
17. I love to play softball, but it has been several years since I have played.
18. I used to have long hair, but I cut it when my oldest son was a few months old and I have regretted it ever since. My hair doesn't grow the same anymore, that is why I have it short all the time.
19. I love the ocean.
20. My favorite color is purple.
21. I love to collect dolls.
22. I love to keep the house clean.
23. I love to watch tv and so I have many favorite shows that I like to watch.
24. I have been the same height of 5 feet 5 inches, since the 9th grade.
25. After I write a check or use my debt card, I always balance my checkbook.

I tag Matty, Kim, Tonya, Lisa, Ashley, Rachel , Ginger and my 3 sisters.

What Does Late Mean?

The last 2 Sundays we have been late to church, but with church now being at 9 am, it is hard for everyone to get up, but I am not one of them. I am usually the first one to get ready for church and then I get everyone up. Last week, I can't remember why we were late, but my oldest didn't go, he hurt is back, but he did go today. Today, 3 of us had to have showers, well my oldest took a bath and when that happens, we tend to be late and not setting the alarm is the other reason. I usually don't set the alarm during the week, cause Will doesn't get home from work until 2 am. Anyway, when we are late, we sit on the couch in the foyer and for us that is a good place to sit and I know that is sad. If no seats are available on the back row, the couch is where we sit. Most families when they are late, go in and find a seat, but because of my youngest, who is 4 and how he behaves sometimes, we have to sit on the back row or on the couch, like we have had to do the last 2 Sundays. I hope we will be on time to church next Sunday because it is Ward Conference.

YEAH!!!!!!

I just wanted to let everyone know that I called the doctor today to find out about the results about my mole that I had removed last week. Drum roll please.... results are negative, so I am relieved about that. So, I hope that I don't get anymore moles that have to be removed.

Zach's 7th Birthday

A few days after Zach's 3rd birthday

Zach's 4th birthday

Zach's 5th Birthday

Zach's 6th Birthday

It is hard to believe that Zach is now 7, where did the time go? He is a wonderful son and I love him, well I love all of my sons. He loves puppies and kittens, so maybe someday we will have a dog again. Yes, I would rather have a dog, but my kids want a puppy. He also loves the snow, so he loves sledding and he always goes with his dad for that. He also loves McDonalds, playing Wii Bowling(he is really good at that game) and playing with his brothers. He loves riding the bus to school and so he likes school, well I think he likes school, he says he does. He also loves fans, keychains with keys on them and receipts and most of those are related to his mild Autism. His favorite color is yellow, his favorite icecream is Cookies and Cream and he just loves to go in the car and just go somewhere, like Walmart. He likes movies that have dogs and cats in them and he also likes Disney movies, well so does the rest of us. The last 2 movies that he saw in the theatre were "Hotel For Dogs" and "Marley and Me" and he really liked both of those movies. He also loves to listen to Queen, well some of the songs that is.

With my husbands work schedule the way it is, we really can't celebrate his birhtday until the weekend, but Zach doesn't care, it is just another day to him. I hope you enjoyed the pictures of him, but they start at age 2, I didn't get a digital camera, until he was almost 3 and I haven't put any pictures on the computer yet, of him younger than 2, but I will someday soon.